Hey, Partner, Are You Playing Singles in Our Doubles Game?

At my age, I don't  see myself ever playing a singles game of pickleball again—and I know for sure I would get quickly sent back to the bench after an endless barrage of passing shots if I did. Eleven-Zero-Done. But mixed or gender doubles is a different story. After numerous classes and skills clinics with my club’s resident retired pro, Suzee Anderson, I learned over the years that I can—even with my disability... for the most part... on a good day... and with adequate sleep behind me—cover my side of the court as I attempt to partner with whomever I’m playing.

We hear the word 'partner' in many contexts: business, trade, dance, sports, and of course, my favorite: relationships. The dictionary defines 'Partner' as “either of a pair of people engaged together in the same activity.” Seems pretty straightforward, right? Two people playing pickleball together as a team. But in this sense, we’re using the word 'Partner' as a noun, simply identifying two individuals. What if instead we played pickleball using partner as a verb? It sounds somewhat nuanced, but I think it makes a big difference.

I play a lot of recreational pickleball—several days a week, in fact. I live in Utah, one of the earliest hotbeds of our sport that has produced several top pros currently playing in the Pro Tours. Add to that the burgeoning interest of high school and college players (there are two major universities within a five-mile radius of my home) and you’ll find paddle racks overflowing at every public court—and even now at my indoor club. As such, I watch a lot of rec pickleball games while waiting for my turn.

Something I notice with the majority of rec games I watch is a team’s inability to play two-gether. There are two people playing of course, but it’s like they’re playing their own individual games in a silo. I’m not referring to skill level here—I see same-level players doing this all the time. Each one is hitting their own shots, keeping the ball in play, simply trying to extend the rally as long as possible. It reminds me of something my coach taught me during my first lesson years ago when referring to shot selection: “Just stay in the point.”

It took me a few years to realize that I was doing the same thing in my own game. I was trying my best to stay in the point and just keep the ball in play—no matter what. Then, I was reminded of a principle I learned in my relationship training called "Standing for Three."

My relationship coach mentor taught me years ago the concept of “standing for three.” It’s the idea that in a secure romantic partnership, there are three entities to consider when navigating decisions: YOU, ME, and WE. Meaning, I stand for MY success, YOUR success, AND the success of the relationship. This practice has brought so much clarity and connection to my own relationships, and I believe it can do the same on the pickleball courts.

Ask yourself: Am I just hitting the shots I like—or I think are best? Am I simply trying to draw attention and applause of onlookers? Or am I considering how the shot I'm about to make is going to impact my doubles partner?

What will happen if I speed up the ball at this moment? What if I erne when it’s clearly defensible? What if I make a wide cross-court dink, setting up an easy ATP for our opponents? What if I drive the ball at the player who is already stationed at the net with their paddle in ready position? What if my partner gets pulled off the court and I find myself having to cover their vacancy—does it make sense to hit a quick flick over the net, or does it make more sense to buy time for my partner’s return with a resetting arched middle dink?

Every once in a while, we hear our partner tell us:  “nice setup,” as if it’s some random and elusive holy-grail-type moment. But what if those setups became the norm and not the exception?

It's a lot to consider—especially in the heat of the moment—but, if you ask me, this is THE skill that is the benchmark of high-level play. And, it may just define your standard when it comes to who you play with going forward.

So, before you declare your next “0-0-2”, see what happens when you go into the game thinking “How can I set my partner up for success?”